It's time to start posting some examples. I don't know if I can effectively communicate the stupidity of some of the E-mails I get. You need to see it to believe it.

(90% of the E-mail I get does not fall under this. However it's the 10% of E-mail I get with no thoughtfulness whatsoever that gets to me).

This is an E-mail exchange I had this week. Basically, I don't know about you, but if I'm looking for something I thought I saw on someone's website a while back, I go to that website to see if it's there.

This one's from Matthew F. Short.

SUBJECT: Hello, quick question :: I was a fan of your previous site, thinhline, and one Guest Comic that killed me was "My Story" by "Me", about the little black boy and his family life. I lost the verison I downloaded a long time ago, and was wondering if you still had it backed up somewhere. Thanks for your help, Matthew

My first question was, if you were wondering if I still have it, did you actually look at the site to see if it was there (it is), or did you just pop off an E-mail to make me do your search work for you?

Mr response:

Uh, why didn't you just check the site?

His response:

Sorry :) I just figured it wouldn't be on there... hehe

Thanks for you time, effort, and complete lack of sarcasm (now with sarcasm).

My thought was, "He didn't even bother to check the site first." I mean, what kind of person E-mails the owner of a site to do a search that he can't even be bothered to do? A lazy, stupid person.

And this is what I was talking about earlier... people not thinking or using their head before zipping off an E-mail. Now if he tried and couldn't find it, that's one thing -- but he didn't even try. He thought it was more acceptable to E-mail me and have me do his dirty work.

Unbelievable.

So here are some more E-mail tips:

When E-mailing a person about his site, have you:

1. read the FAQ (for the love of God, PLEASE do)
2. done a fair job of looking through the site for the information you wanted before giving up
3. used Google (I don't know HOW many E-mails I've gotten that could have been answered with a two word search in Google, with the page they want RIGHT THERE ON THE FUCKING TOP)

Anyways Matt, congratulations on being an offical Wanker E-Mail Writer.